NetApp - The Missing Shade of Blue

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese

The EMC blogosphere is full of "Why I Work For EMC!" posts at the moment, and to be honest, it's a concerted strategy to present EMC as the coolest and bestest employer in the tech industry. Ever.

I'm not in any doubt as to why, and if you've been following the press recently, I suspect you aren't in any doubt either. EMC bloggers are supporting the central thesis of Uncle Joe's open letter to Data Domain employees, that EMC is one of those rare things, a company that's coolest and best and biggest, the undisputed leader of companies, a world-class, #1 company.

With one voice, they're crying "I love it here! And so will you."  Which leads the inquisitive (actually, in my case, paranoid) amongst us to wonder if this is an orchestrated attempt to provide a bit of a public shove and push to the idea that corporate culture at EMC is just fine and dandy, and that there nothing to fear from being acquired. As an echo and reinforcement of Joe Tucci's message, the blogs I’ve seen definitely toe the line.

Whatever the agenda, what are they saying about why they love EMC so? There's a lot of high-falutin' sentiments on display; some personal observations about what it's like to work there, how to get promoted, where to wander round corridors talking to engineers about cool stuff, advice on what it takes to prosper, enjoy, fit in, etc etc.

The EMC they describe is like Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.

I love cheese. I've eaten a huge amount and variety in my time, from the humble Cheddar to the exotic ash covered Saint Maure. But if it was possible, the one I would really want to taste is the very rare Venezuelan Beaver Cheese. Some would have you believe that it's more than just a cheese; that it's the coolest and best and biggest cheese, the undisputed leader of cheeses, a world-class, #1 cheese.

Unfortunately, Venezuelan Beaver Cheese isn't just rare, it doesn't exist at all outside of a Monty Python sketch. Just like the picture of working at EMC we're getting from these blogs. I don't believe they're being honest with themselves.

EMC is probably more like a ripe Vieux Boulogne, a cheese that’s an acquired taste best washed down with strong drink. Co-incidentally, it has the unenviable reputation for being the world's smelliest.

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Update 15June2009: In the "I wish I'd said that" category; Jay Kidd's blog post on EMC's bid for Data Domain.

EMC Says SSD Is EOL with TLA now EFD

I have very little against coining words, phrases or acronyms that clarify the subject at hand, or simplify communication.

• DNA. Deoxyribonucleic acid; tongue twister
• BBC. British Broadcasting Corporation; doesn't exactly roll of the tongue
• LOL. Laffs Out Loud, for the keyboard and time challenged.

The IT industry has been doing it for years. But there are limits to TLAs, and when obfuscation and distraction are the goal, I'm not a fan.

EFD. Enterprise Flash Drive.

EMC are now employing this new acronym to distract the world from the pretty obvious fact that it really doesn't have a clue how to use this flash technology at all. In the bizarre and Byzantine world that is EMC, the invention of new acronyms is normally an admission that you're about to see the goalposts move.

And here we go...

EMC bloggers are now using EFD with reckless abandon, no doubt dictated by the EMM (EMC Marketing Machine) to for the purposes of FUD. I noticed it on several EMC blogs recently; Chuck Hollis' blog first, it leaked over to StorageZilla, and now Barry Burke has chimed in with what can be only described as the best justification I've ever seen for LOLing at what EMC are doing.

I'd suggest EFD needs to RIP. May it die a swift and unlamented death.

If you really want to see how to use new technology, rather than how to coin useless acronyms, point your browser here.

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Acronym Translator

• TLA: Three Letter Acronym
• EMC: Embrocation Marketing Company. Purveyor of smelly lotions.
• SSD: Solid State Drive. A disk made of flash instead of rotating rust.
• EFD: Enterprise Flash Drive. SSD after an EMC lotion lather and rub down.
• FUD: Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt. The emotions brought on by smelling an EFD
• EOL: End of Life. Killed. Terminated. Unloved.
• RIP: Rest In Peace. Now you're EOL, please stay dead.

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MAD Blog: The E in EMC Stands For Emulated

Yes, it does, I tell you. EMC is not what you think it is; it's emulated! The real EMC wants to hide this from you!

Only kidding. With EMC, what you see is what you get. Unfortunately.

Point in case; here's EMC's uber blogger, Chuck Hollis, on the subject of EMC's FC solutions over NetApp's, specifically about the NX4;

Like other Celerras, it does the full unified storage thing: iSCSI, NAS and "real deal" FC that isn't emulated.

The FC is native, and is not mediated by the NAS head.

In his comments, Tony Asaro can't quite fathom this out. He wasn't alone. Chuck bounces back, and over a series of comments (my bold italics); 

But you lose the thread there -- most FC care about predictable performance behavior, and emulation can often get in the way of that, as you lose the underlying geometry and device characteristics.

Regarding disk geometry, NetApp (as do all emulated environments) attempts to emulate physical disks using a file system.

The real debate is --- when you need FC and what it does well, are you better off with an emulated version, or a native implementation?

My point is that -- at the application level -- emulated FC drives behave differently than real ones. And, in many cases, it can matter.

There's a mishmash of ideas here. FC stands for everything; drives, protocols, storage heads, even disk geometry is relevant. But the L for Logical in LUN seems to have somehow passed by without a mention. Clever, clever NX4!

Sigh. Still, we did get one admission.

I have no basis to comment on NetApp's specific implementation of the FC protocol. Unless I talk to one of our FC engineers, I just wouldn't know. Or know if any deficiencies or advantages really mattered.

That would have been a good move before blogging on the subject, no?.

So go and ask an engineer to explain what "emulated FC" is. Then come back and let me know. Personally, I'm betting on "Uhmmm...", and a puzzled look.

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I'm grateful to Kostadis for the MAD blog idea. if you're tired of reading posts where vendors try and poke each other in the eye, just skip the ones marked MAD.

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MAD Blog: The E in EMC Stands For Emulated

Yes, it does, I tell you. EMC is not what you think it is; it's emulated! The real EMC wants to hide this from you!

Only kidding. With EMC, what you see is what you get. Unfortunately.

Point in case; here's EMC's uber blogger, Chuck Hollis, on the subject of EMC's FC solutions over NetApp's, specifically about the NX4;

Like other Celerras, it does the full unified storage thing: iSCSI, NAS and "real deal" FC that isn't emulated.

The FC is native, and is not mediated by the NAS head.

In his comments, Tony Asaro can't quite fathom this out. He wasn't alone. Chuck bounces back, and over a series of comments (my bold italics); 

But you lose the thread there -- most FC care about predictable performance behavior, and emulation can often get in the way of that, as you lose the underlying geometry and device characteristics.

Regarding disk geometry, NetApp (as do all emulated environments) attempts to emulate physical disks using a file system.

The real debate is --- when you need FC and what it does well, are you better off with an emulated version, or a native implementation?

My point is that -- at the application level -- emulated FC drives behave differently than real ones. And, in many cases, it can matter.

There's a mishmash of ideas here. FC stands for everything; drives, protocols, storage heads, even disk geometry is relevant. But the L for Logical in LUN seems to have somehow passed by without a mention. Clever, clever NX4!

Sigh. Still, we did get one admission.

I have no basis to comment on NetApp's specific implementation of the FC protocol. Unless I talk to one of our FC engineers, I just wouldn't know. Or know if any deficiencies or advantages really mattered.

That would have been a good move before blogging on the subject, no?.

So go and ask an engineer to explain what "emulated FC" is. Then come back and let me know. Personally, I'm betting on "Uhmmm...", and a puzzled look.

---

I'm grateful to Kostadis for the MAD blog idea. if you're tired of reading posts where vendors try and poke each other in the eye, just skip the ones marked MAD.

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